How to befriend your ego:

First, let’s understand what the ego is. And realize that we all have one.

The ego encompasses thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and behaviors that contribute to our self-image and how we relate to others and the world around us. The ego can also be viewed, from a spiritual standpoint, as the illusionary sense of separateness and individuality that obscures the interconnectedness of all beings.

Who you really are is the observer of all of these things. You are the awareness witnessing the constructs of your own mind.

You might be wondering, “Why would I want to befriend my ego?” Well, because it’s never going away. It’s that voice inside your head — your “inner roommate,” as Michael Singer calls it in his book The Untethered Soul. So, might as well learn to live with it.

6 Tips for Befriending Your Ego

1. Recognize the Ego

Now that you understand what the ego is, notice how it manifests in your life. Common manifestations are pride, fear, defensiveness, comparison, and the need for validation.

2. Reconnect with Your Body

At some point in our lives, most of us went through a traumatic experience that caused us to feel disconnected from our body. The simple stress of everyday life (aka “survival mode“) is enough to cause tension and strain on our bodies that is difficult to live with. When our body is a source of pain and tension, it’s easy to want to disconnect from it.

Getting back in touch with our body is a crucial step in healing our soul and reclaiming our power — and yoga is the perfect tool for this.

With breath as an anchor, yoga invites us into the present moment, connecting mind and body, while we hold ourselves gently and compassionately. We are able to get out of our head (and our ego-based identity), tap into our body (through the postures), and exist within our own authenticity. Additionally, when practicing in a yoga class, we get to experience the interconnectedness and oneness amongst our fellow humans that helps dissolve our ego.

3. Cultivate Compassion

Approach your ego with compassion rather than judgment. Understand that it’s a natural part of being human and often arises from a place of insecurity or fear. Treat yourself with kindness as you navigate your ego’s tendencies. Remember, your ego only knows what it knows. And at the end of the day, it’s actually just trying to protect you.

4. Mindfulness Meditation

Engage in mindfulness meditation to observe your thoughts and emotions without getting caught up in them. This practice can help you develop a sense of detachment from your ego’s narratives and reactions.

5. Practice Humility and Gratitude

Practice humility by acknowledging that you don’t have all the answers and that you are constantly learning and growing. Let go of the need to always be right and seek validation from others. Be grateful for the blessings in your life and the qualities that make you unique. Appreciating yourself and others can help counteract the ego’s tendency to focus on shortcomings or comparisons.

6. Accept and Rewrite Your Story

If we’ve been running from our pain for a long time, this pain becomes our story — and our ego is tangled up in it. In order to write a new ending, we must untangle and release it — journaling is a wonderful tool for this.

Journaling allows us to explore our thoughts and feelings without worrying about being judged, criticized, or rejected for who we really are. Through journaling, we can uncover our pain and suffering and shed light on our fears of feeling not good enough, unlovable, or ultimately alone. We have an opportunity to unpack our deep-seated beliefs and decide if we want to continue carrying them… or not.

This week’s practice is a journaling exercise focused on ego work. Join me — let’s put the pen to paper.